


Secret Mission to Bunnings

by fazcinatingreads



Category: AFL - Fandom, angry pendles, aussie rules, australian rules football., bunnings, cunfe, cunfe fiction, nathan fyfe - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:15:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27004933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fazcinatingreads/pseuds/fazcinatingreads
Summary: Classic cunfe fiction where Fyfe and Cunnington are called in to diffuse a messy situation.
Kudos: 2





	Secret Mission to Bunnings

Nathan Fyfe drove his tractor across the wide expanse of his farm at Lake Grace. Summer was nearly approaching and there was lots of farmwork to keep him occupied for the long days ahead without football. As he rode the bumps of the paddock, he thought about how many votes he'll get in this year's Brownlow medal. Surely he'll have some three vote games, he was basically the difference when they played St Kilda. Nat reminisces how he stood one out in the goal square the entire game and marked everything that came his way. Solid day at the office. Nat wondered how many of his players will steal votes from him? That disney prince fellow - Adam... Brayshaw? No no Angus Brayshaw. That sounds more right. The boy who likes golf and plays with the chap from West Coast.

Then Nat's thoughts went more to his competitors from other teams, like that Lachie kid who's just appeared from nowhere in Brisbane. Why does he seem familiar, Nat wondered as he steered the tractor across the farm, was he playing in the State of Origin game? Nat was sure he's met Lachie before. As Nat was pondering how he was going to put the medal around Lachie Neale's neck all the way from Perth, his phone buzzed in his pocket. Nat stopped the tractor and answered the call.

"G'day, Cunners," Nat said, cheerily.

"G'day, Nat," Ben said, sounding a bit stressed, "We got a bit of a situation down at the local Bunnings. A man, he's super angry, he wants black and white paint for his garage but we're out! What's the male equivalent of a Karen? Anyway, he looks a bit like Pendlebury but angry."

"Angry Pendles," Nat said immediately, knowing exactly who it was. 

"Can you help?" Ben asked, desperately, "Come down and we'll tackle him together."

"Sure," Nat said, hopping off the tractor and walking quickly to his helicopter. "I know just the man to bring along."

Nat hung up the phone and jumped in the helicopter. He flew all the way to the fanciest hotel in Perth and landed on the helipad on the roof. He climbed down and found the door that led to the level below. His friend was in the penthouse, so Nat walked down the corridor and found a door with two guards posted outside. Nat grabbed two cans of cola from his backpack that he'd prepared earlier and walked right up to the security guards.

"Care for a drink, lads?" Nat asked, innocently.

The guards' eyes lit up. They'd probably been standing there all day and were very thirsty. They eagerly took the drinks, opened them and took big swigs. Instantly, they fell on the floor, almost comically, on top of each other. 

Nat rolled his eyes at the guards' stupidity and knocked on the door. "Jesse?" Nat called, as he twisted the doorknob and pushed open the door.

Jesse Hogan was lying on the bed, stuffing his face with doritos and watching the TV. "Hmm?" he said, not taking his eyes off the screen.

"Let's go, I'm taking you on your daily outing," Nat said, throwing a pair of pants at Jesse.

"I've already been, I went with Harry for a walk at lunchtime," Jesse whined.

"Well, you can have another one," Nat said, "Come on, we need you. Angry Pendles needs controlling."

Jesse jumped off the bed like a rocket and pulled his pants on. "Why didn't you say so earlier?" he asked, grabbing some chocolate from the minibar and following Nat out the door.

They stepped over the security guards outside the door and Jesse paused to look at them. "Oh Harry," he said, shaking his head. "This hotel really shouldn't have hired security guards from Victoria."

Nat laughed and they both walked down the hallway and went up the stairs to the roof. Masks securely on, Jesse taking the time to cross the strings at the side, they walked over to Nat's helicopter and climbed aboard.

After a half hour ride, they made it to Bunnings and landed in the empty car park. Nat and Jesse hurried to the entrance, both of them pausing for a quick sausage on the way.

They both entered the store and quietly and quickly made their way over to Ben in the paint section. Nat revealed himself first, swallowing the last of the sausage, and confronting the angry customer. "Sir, I can see you've got a problem and..."

Jesse came from around the corner, mouth full of sausage, and charged straight into Angry Pendles, collecting him in a bear hug and then sprawling on the ground.

"Bruzzie! Hey buddy!" Jesse cried, happily, "Long time no see!"

"Jesse!" Brayden said, happily, excited to see his old friend. 

They hugged on the ground and then stood up and brushed themselves off, catching up as they did so.

"So I'm staying in this fancy hotel at the moment," Jesse was saying, "You can come visit."

"Yeah man I'd love to!" Brayden said, "We can watch the Notebook and reminisce the good old days."

They chatted amicably all the way back to Nat's helicopter, and for the whole flight back to Jesse's quarantine hotel with a quick detour to Brayden's place to drop him off first because Nat didn't want to be alone with him without Jesse there. The man was scary.


End file.
